Networking Success

Do you “Suck” at Networking?

I even hate to use that word, but that is the terminology I hear from people who approach me and lament about the networking process. “Despise”, “hate” & “dread” are other common words I hear from unhappy networkers. Networking is a learned skillset, like learning sales skills or how to do bookeeping. Do you want to not hate it so much? ( I dare you to learn enough to actuallyenjoy the process) Click here for our next scheduled teleclass.

by Mindy Selinger

I think that it’s a bit ironic that I was forwarded a link to an article by Tom Davenport of the Harvard Business Review, ‘Forwarding is the New Networking’. Tom’s article supports what I’ve been teaching for the past five years; The Importance of Sharing Information. In fact, the definition of business networking I use is this: Networking is the exchange of Ideas, Information and Resources (From Naisbett’s book Megatrends). You can share any article with hundreds of your closest business associates by learning to use all those book marks and forwarding social networking buttons.

With the onset and use of social media the world is at our fingertips with the click of a mouse. Our  networking influence is virtually unlimited. Are we better networkers because of this? Not necessarily. The quality of the connections  is what’s important. An excellent way to keep in touch is to forward along useful information. It lets your network know that you’re thinking about them and their needs.
Be careful though. Don’t get in to the habit of just regurgitating the same old information to everyone. Personalize it. Always send along a short note on why the information will be useful to them.
Just the other day one of my connections forwarded me a resource and included her thoughts on how I could use the resource. I took action and the result was huge…MASSIVE. I’m very grateful that she took the time to share her thoughts with me.

I think this quote from Benjamin Disreali sums it up so well… “As a general rule, the most successful man in life is the man who has the best information” (I’m sure he meant to include women, as well)

The following is an excerpt from the upcoming book Face-to-Face Networking Skills

Lame Excuses
by Mindy Selinger

It is your choice to be late…anywhere. Whenever I state that in my workshop I get howls of protest, especially from the people who are most challenged by being on time. (The ones who were late to the workshop are usually silent!) We are uncomfortable at the close look we must take at ourselves to come up with the underlying reason behind the habitual behavior of being late.

Many people wear their ‘busy-ness’ as a badge of honor; they’re very busy, thus very important. We all have our Lame Excuses for being late: Horrible traffic; last minute phone call; client emergency; bad GPS directions … These reasons are all superficial.

A young man, a Realtor, in one of my workshops told me that on the rare occasion that he is late to an appointment, he apologizes sincerely (as oppossed to the hurriedly tossed off, “Sorry I’m late!”) and says, simply “I did not allow myself enough time to get here”. It was the truth, plain & simple without the lame excuses meant to throw the responsibility anywhere else than where it belonged, on him. (Then he makes sure he NEVER keeps that client waiting again)

We have all been guilty of this behavior at one time or another. The intention here is not to point fingers or make anyone feel defensive. Instead, find your own truth in these words and see where you can learn and grow. “How you do anything is how you do everything”, (quote source is unknown, but I heard it from T. Have Eker).

The next Networking Tip will offer a little more insight into this perplexing behavior. … Read it with insight and self-understanding …

No More Lame Excuses

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Low Priority

There is only one real reason for being late to any event.. Low Priority (AKA – You’re just not that into it). You see no perceived consequences in being late, (and no perceived benefits of being early) That is the primary reason for being late & I can prove it.

Let’s say someone was giving away a free laptop to the first five people to arrive at the next event an hour early. Would you be late? Not if getting a free laptop was a priority for you! You’d camp in the parking lot if you had to. You would not take that last minute phone call, you’d leave early in case there was traffic & you would look up the exact directions so you would not take the chance of being too late.

I considered dropping this discussion in my workshops, because the energy in the room would tank when we came to this topic. An informal poll told me the lessons REALLY made an impression of them. They had never seen this topic addressed quite like this and it was an eye-opener for them. It relates not only to networking but to personal business ethics in general.

Own Your Actions

Would you walk up to a total stranger at a networking event and….with no prior introduction whatsoever…say to them, “I would like to add you to my professional network”?
Of course, not. Yet people do that online every day. Is that the best way to start a relationship? Why would they want to accept?

Social Media makes it easy to quickly connect with a high volume of people around the world. Racking up huge numbers of Connections, “Friends” and Followers is a point of pride for many people. But guess what; Networking is not a competitive sport.

Build your online network as strategically and thoughtfully as you do your local network. Use the same “let’s help each other develop business” approach outlined here. At the very least, write a personal note indicating that you read their profile and why you were intrigued enough to reach out.

Quality Trumps Quantity

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The above is an excerpt from my new book Face-to-Face Networking Skills in a Social Media World. In the book I didn’t say what I REALLY wanted to on this subject; Which is a bit of a rant. You have been warned. Here’s My Two Cents:

Last year, in response to the high volume of impersonal default invitations I was receiving, I put this note as the first line of my LinkedIn Profile:

“***Note:*** I welcome your invitation but *Please* read “Contact Settings” at the bottom before extending an invitation…Thank you!’

If they take the time to follow through they will find this:

“I welcome new contacts & new invitations BUT if we do not currently have a working relationship, I will not respond to the generic “I want to add you to my network” default invitation. Please tell me why you believe a connection would serve us both. Can we be of mutual support and “help each other develop some business”? That philosophy is at the *core* of my trainings. No relationship begins by getting…it begins by giving. I will start…tell me how I can assist you in your networking endeavors and I will help in whatever way I can.”

Call me old fashioned, but is it too much to expect people to… at least, read my profile before inviting me to connect?

This is an excerpt from the soon-to-be-published book Face-to-Face Networking Skills in a Social Media World
It’s Who Listens

Is a speaker presentation event worth your time? Consider this: Your personal interest in the speaker or the topic is not as important as the attendees. Consider the audience…who are they? Bankers? New Home Buyers? HR Executives? They are the ones you will be rubbing elbows with. The speaker or the topic may be dull, but the audience may be worth their weight in gold for you. If the topic will pull in an audience of professionals you need to meet, GO! (Bonus Tip: If the speakers is not your competition, yet they pull in your target market, shouldn’t you get to know them? Think PowerPartners!)

When I attended a conference in Long Beach, CA last year, I had to choose between several “breakout” speakers (Don’t you hate that? You want to hear them all!) I narrowed my choices down to 1) an audience of independent entrepreneurs such as myself (the topic was very relevant to me) or 2) an audience of executive women. I used this strategy to determine which session to attend, (The executive women). It worked well for me because I made significant connection that day. When I explained my selection process to a table mate at lunch, it was like an “Ah-HA” moment for her. “Very clever” she said.

A Speaker Determines The Audience

The following is an excerpt from the upcoming book Face-to-Face Networking Skills
by Mindy Selinger
The majority of all the information & resources you need in order to be successful is within your reach, lurking in the background waiting to be discovered. Sometimes we get so busy and so focused on one aspect of our business that we “can’t see the forest for the trees”. A good PowerPartner looks out for you and recognizes opportunities, then shares them with you. They are invaluable. I know this from personal experience. Recently, one of my PowerPartners forwarded the email of a resource to me along with her thoughts on how I might use that resource. I was familiar with it. In fact, I had received the very same email that morning. But I had been busy…I had too many “trees” in front of me to see the application she saw. I took action and the result was huge…MASSIVE. I’m so grateful she took the time to share her thoughts……

A Good PowerPartner Has Your Back

It was several months in the making. I first heard from Ellen Volpe, President of American Business Associates, when she purchased the CD audio program from the website. When I saw she was from Long Island, a quick Google search told me she was a major player in the local Business to Business Networking scene. A phone call was in order! Five months later I stepped up to the podium in front of almost 100 people gathered at the Clubroom of Hofstra University in Long Island, New York. What a thrill!

Here is Ellen Volpe, (second from the left) and the rest of her crew who help out that morning. The Hofstra Club is a very posh venue located on the Hofstra University campus in Hempstead, Long Island.

“The event on Friday was engaging, entertaining and most of all informative. Mindy, your energy and interactive presentation made the time fly by. Ellen and Gene, thanks for making this quality program available. ” Joyce Zimmerman – JoyWriter Communications

In the crowd was Paul Pileggi who had been to the workshop I presented last year for Greiner Maltz Commercial Real Estate. It was he who shared this information with Ellen in one of her networking groups.. Thank you Paul!

In the picture to the right, this man is no doubt explaining to the other that the nametag goes on the RIGHT lapel! This group was very vocal and willing to engage…so fun to work with! We had them up on their feet trying out the “Four Pre-Qual Questions” and taking the microphone to tell us who their PowerPartners are. More than one company sent their entire crew!

“Mindy has a passion for networking”
“Awesome!!”
“Very enlightening and refreshing….A wonderful session!”
“The concept of ‘linking’ vs. ’selling’ takes a lot of pressure off. Great information!”

I hope to return SOON to present another workshop. Bye!

Bye!

“I have received a lot of calls and you were a HIT~ Thanks so much for making me look good and for making a difference in the lives of so many people.” Ellen Volpe, ABA

You cannot be considered a serious networker or be a competant “PowerPartner” without subscribing to your local Business Journal. Every community has their business publications. Here in San Diego we have the weekly San Diego Business Journal, The San Diego Daily Transcript and the quarterly Biz San Diego Magazine. For my money, I like the weekly Business Journal. It’s not too much…it’s not too little…It’s Just Right.
The SDBJ is a part of my Making The Connection networking workshop. I bring in an issue and we discuss how they can use it to:

• Be conversant in current events – Make networking conversations easier
• Find information to share with those in your network
• Learn about the “Movers & Shakers” in your community…imagine running into someone at the next event and being able to comment of their recent article…believe me…they will be impressed and flattered
• Find events/seminars for yourself and others
• Did someone get a promotion? Send a congratulations card! Did you notice a business meeting that will pull in a certain audience demographic? Share that information with others! When it comes to speakers, the more influential the speaker, the more influential the audience.
  
  In my PowerPartner Appoach® Trainings, we define networking as “The exchange of Ideas, Information & Resources”. Keeping current with your community’s business news to find information to share with your network is imperative to staying ahead of your competition.

British polititian Benjamin Disreali said “In the end, the person with the most success is the one with the best information”